Lighten up, will ya?
3 ways we're making life less pleasant than it needs to be
When last we saw Ruby she was getting to know Joker Ray as he shared his Everything bagel with her. While sharing how life is for him….
Ruby doesn’t quite know what to make of Joker Ray. He keeps showing himself to be something different than what she might assume to be true about him if she weren’t taking the time to get to know him.
Let’s give it to Ruby for being such an enthusiast. Always ready to be inspired. And also ready to reflect someone’s goodness back to them.
Joker Ray was a real person
In fact, everyone Ruby encounters out in the streets of Deep City are people I really met in the 1990’s. And thanks to an OCD level of passion for “verbatim” I really did write down exactly what they said as they said it. It was the way some people had with words — as well as the life experiences they had to share — that delighted me so.
What also delighted me was how their words made me think about things I never really gave much thought to before. Here are some of the things Joker Ray said that continue to make me think….
“Oh, I’d bark too if I had to play ‘beat the clock’ every morning.”
Joker Ray is someone who (for whatever reasons) opted out of a conventional approach to life. So from the lawn chair he set up on the corner of 42nd and 2nd he’s in a position to witness from the outside how conventional folks move through the city.
Many of them, like ‘the woman in a great hurry’, seem to have entered themselves into a race against time. That’s their game. Their mornings, their workdays, their LIVES got set up (mostly unintentionally) to produce so much stress that they end up barking at people… and leaving out the magic words ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’.
LESSON FOR RUBY: When you’re not intentional about the games you play, you can end up playing some very unfun ones… without even realizing you can change them or quit them anytime you want.
“Just because I’m a panhandler doesn’t mean I’m a bad apple.”
As a streetperson Joker Ray is — in the eyes of many, though not all — a substandard human being.
There are those who really appreciate him and the humor he interjects into their day. Those are the ones who support him with a nod, a laugh, some money, or a fresh bagel. You know, with common decency. Then there are those who are offended by his presence. To them he’s not a human being, he’s a stereotype.
Fortunately, Joker Ray knows who he is and that allows him to flip the script. He feels bad for them — the people whose thinking is so limited they think that your character is defined by your circumstances…. that having less money makes you less-than… that an outside-the-box way of supporting yourself is to be scorned.
They judge so much they don’t even know that’s their primary way of thinking.
LESSON FOR RUBY: How and what you think matters. Try to be more aware of it. When you catch yourself being judgey… cut it out.
“Humor. That’s something we all got.”
Seriously? Well, isn’t that good news. Of all things that we could possibly ALL HAVE… we all — just by being human — got humor.
But is that really true?
According to Joker Ray it is. He’s of the opinion that it doesn’t matter your age, your race, your class, your life circumstances — you too 1) are, without even trying, amusing, and 2) have access to a way of perceiving that lightens things… brings joy… diffuses tension… connects… even heals.
Humor is a natural superpower… we all got!
LESSON FOR RUBY: Be on the lookout for what about yourself is amusing (maybe even absurd)… as well as what’s worth a chuckle in ordinary everyday situations.
And this is exactly what Ruby is going to do as she travels on after her Joker Ray encounter. She’s going to make a game out of seeing where there’s humor in what’s going on around her.
How about you?
Which grown-up games (like “beat-the-clock”) do you play that aren’t the most fun? Could you tweak the rules to make it more fun… OR just stop playing it altogether?
What or whom do you judge? (I know who I judge!!!) What would it take to interrupt and redirect (or at least soften) the judgement once you’re aware of it?
How able are you to bring a little more levity to your life by having an eye out for what’s funny in it and yourself?
Funny, while these three topics are different, there is a commonality. It’s around how possible it is to lighten up our experiences — by slowing down, by judging less, by noticing where there’s humor.
So let’s tap to lighten things up……
Let’s tap
Tapping Script: Lighten Up Our Experiences
These specifics — rushing, judging, and overlooking what’s humorous — will be used to represent all of the ways we make life heavier than it needs to be. We’ll tap to ACKNOWLEDGE them, RELEASE them, and then REPLACE them with something better.
Tapping on the Side of Hand to ACKNOWLEDGE…
Even though I’m one to play "beat the clock" at times,
I choose to notice when I’m stressing myself out
and then pause.
Even though I can be quick to judge others or situations
or myself,
I’m ready to catch myself
and let go of the judgment.
Even though I forget how much humor I have access to,
I’m willing to see more of what’s amusing
and even absurd in my everyday life.Tapping through the points to RELEASE…
Sometimes I get caught in the rush,
racing against time,
without realizing how much stress it causes.
WHAT IF I could drop it
like a hot potato?
I challenge myself to release and let go
of rushing and racing.
What makes it easier to let go of judgment
is knowing that human beings are not perfect.
WHAT IF I could be even better at noticing when I’m judging
others and myself?
And WHAT IF I chose to see things even more deeply,
beyond my surface-level assumptions?
I challenge myself to release and let go of stereotypes,
assumptions, and judgments.There are so many ways to see the same thing.
WHAT IF I chose to look for what’s amusing,
even in the most challenging moments?
Maybe especially in the most challenging moments?
WHAT IF I gave myself permission to laugh internally
and take things a little less seriously?
I challenge myself to release and let go
of being more serious than I need to be.Stop tapping, hold the wrist, squeeze it on the inhale, exhale and still holding onto the wrist call to mind a time you really laughed. Or if a memory doesn’t spring to mind just visualize yourself laughing and laughing. Smile as you see yourself laughing. Notice how good it feels. Notice where in the body the good feeling is most noticable. Inhale and squeeze the wrist to anchor in that feeling, exhale and let go of the wrist….
Tapping through the points to REPLACE it with something better…
I’m ready to lighten up my experiences,
by giving myself better games to play,
by judging less,
by noticing what’s funny.
Life isn’t a race, it’s a dance,
a play,
a string of moments to enjoy
each in their own way
because I’m alive, dammit!I can see the complexity in others,
and in myself.
Without the need to judge harshly,
I am free to embrace the fullness
of what it means to be human.I connect with my humanity by embracing humor.
by seeing how much of my own story is wildly illogical!
I choose to tweak the rules of my day
to make it more fun,
less about hurry and more about enjoying the process.
I love how able I am to shift my perspective,
to lighten up,
to choose joy,
and invite more of it into my life.Stop tapping, hold the wrist, give it a squeeze on the inhale. Exhale and, still holding onto your wrist, imagine yourself feeling lighter, more at ease, and more playful. Perhaps laughing. As you exhale, release any tension or seriousness that may still be there. As you let go of your wrist bring the joyfulness you’re feeling now along with you into the rest of your day.
Join us next time when Ruby enjoys seeeing for herself how there really “ain’t nothin’ funnier than people.”
