Goal Trauma: what it is and why it haunts you
A look at how dreams-gone-wrong affect your nervous system, and what tapping can do to heal it
We find Ruby suffering.
Big time. She tried something and it didn’t go well. It didn’t go well and a whole lot of people witnessed it not go well (get the details in Installment 2). She runs from the scene in an effort to escape it, but the failure goes with her……
The worst parts about it on repeat. She can’t let it go. Or is it the other way around? IT won’t let HER go? Disgusting feelings together with hateful thoughts are relentless…inescapabl… torturous.
Have you ever been through one of those?
And when it comes back to you, it’s as though it’s happening all over again — only now the worst parts are magnified?
And you insist on a do-over… but that’s not possible so you’re at a total loss as to how to proceed?
Yeah. Those happen. And they’re soo HARD.
Lucky for Ruby, she’s got some inner-resources that show up to help her out…….
Her much-practiced ability to IMAGINE…. something BETTER, something FANTASITCAL, something HELPFUL has the power to distance her from “I’m hopeless, useless, worthless, stupid, wrong and BAD…” Her ability to IMAGINE takes her to a better place inside herself………
Sometimes escapism is great, but…
Even though her fantasy world is a great comfort to her, Ruby’s not using it as a way to process what she’s just been through. No. She’s using it as a way to escape what she’s just been through. Which is good in its way, but what she’s just been through NEEDS to be processed…. otherwise it will come back to bite her later.
What Ruby’s just been through is a ‘goal trauma’ in the making.
A GOAL TRAUMA - IN 3 EASY STEPS
STEP 1
You really, really WANT something.
STEP 2
Your BELIEF in achieving what you want is so open, so high
that you throw yourself into achieving it.
You are ALL IN. You BELIEVE.
STEP 3
Things don’t work out.
It’s CRUSHING.
I would add that there is a 4th Step. Something else needs to happen in order for it to get lodged in your system as ‘traumatic’. After the crushing disappointment what you do next is……
STEP 4
You carry on as if nothing happened.
You do NOT process the experience.
You BURY it.
Yeah, it’s what happens AFTER Steps 1-3 that does the real damage.
Because when a ‘goal trauma’ isn't attended to, it’s not just that one dream that goes kerflooey, it’s your ability to BELIEVE that gets all messed up. And without an ability to BELIEVE you’re not going to give yourself over to a goal with all of your beautiful energy, enthusiasm, and heart anymore.
Why would you? Believing goes badly. No more of that, please.
Oh, and by the way, it doesn’t have to be a big, huge, public fail like Ruby had in order for it to be a ‘goal trauma’. Oh, no.
A seemingly insignificant scenario like this could turn into one too…
You’re 8-years-old playing catch in the backyard with your dad. He expresses frustration that you’re not better at catching than you are.
The FEELINGS of coming up short and the anxiety around disappointing someone you love mix together with the IDEA “I’m trying as hard as I can, but… I just can’t!” and concretize into a BELIEF about yourself.
And NOW — lo, these many years later, long after you’ve forgotten all about playing catch with dad in the backyard — “…but I just can’t!” is informing how you go after what you want in life.
You see how that’s ‘goal trauma’? Really wanting… really trying… didn’t work out… never got processed.
Fortunately it’s never too late to address something that’s unresolved. And the upside of doing it is HUUUUUGE.
Heal something old and… uplifting thoughts & feelings will magically reappear….
“Are you kidding me?? I can TRUST my ability to go after things again… even with no guarantee they’ll work out?”
“Where’d the anxiety go? All I feel now is PLAYFUL about it.”
“I actually WANT to do it.”
“Holy shit, synchronicities and support are EVERYWHERE!”
This is why we tap if we suspect there’s a ‘goal trauma’ in there…
We tap to MOVE the old, stuck energy
We tap to UPDATE our beliefs around success and visibility
We tap to RESTORE good feelings in relation to our visions and ambitions
Today I’m going to end with an invitation….
If you think you’ve got something like that in there and you want some help resolving it, reach out to me and I will happily share with you a video that will take you through the paces. Tapping OUT everything that’s making it hard to believe in your dreams and go for it, then tapping IN the knowledge that your dreams are “surrounded by the light of infinite possibility…. like a million stars shining just for you… a treasury of inspiration and support….”
Who doesn’t want to believe that?
What great insight. I was fortunate to have Jeanne guide me through recognizing and releasing a goal trauma of mine, and it truly opened up new possibilities for me.